That man on my shoulder

For some odd reason i keep wanting to write in this blog. Not sure why. For some reason it seems comforting right now to be able to write. Usually i do 3 entries a week. I think this is my third in less than 24 hours. Sometimes i like to look out the window when im writing these entries, makes me feel a little better. Something about seeing the day, the sunlight hitting the trees and plants that makes me feel better. Well right now its technically dark outside. But if i had cat eyes and could see in the dark...im pretty sure it would be just as beautiful. Yeahh....it would. I think what would really be great, and would replace this blog would be my conscious sitting on my shoulder. That would be the greatest relievement ever. It would be like talking to yourself, except with no exceptions, no biases, and just the cold hidden truth. No more ehh...or maybes...your conscious would tell you what you are trully feeling. Your subconscious thoughts and your secrets you deny yourself would come up and be told for you to bare. No more hiding from yourself. Just the truth. Wouldn't that be great? Hearing what we truthfully feel deep down inside us for the first times in our lives.

Greatest Movie Trailer Ever

So im doing homework at like 1:30am this morning...kinda pissed off cause i have to wake up at 7am and have class all day. Just makes for a bad start to a boring tuesday...but then. Eric saves me. He shows me the greatest trailer ever. I think i watched it like 3 times last night just cause it was too funny. Hopefully you will enjoy this trailer as much as i did and it will turn your day around as well!

oh the pretty colors...

looking through the window right now in computer lab. looks like another beautiful day outside and ill never get to experience this one...one of many. :(

Lifes like a box of chocolates....gotta eat what you got

Everyone faces times when things don't go there way. It hurts sometimes. Sometimes you just don't understand why. I feel that you can either take what you are given, make the best of it, improve on it, and live it. Or you can deny it, live in the past, denial and just move on. I used to be just the ladder and try to move on from failures and bad timings. It was the easier path, the one where i didn't have to when my mind was wandering think about what could have been and what had become. I guess it was just easier to bury everything inside. Keep it in the corner of my mind, lock it up and just let it burn itself out. This though seems to be a self damaging cycle, which doesn't go away. It just festers in the corner, waiting to come out at the moment when it can do the most damage. To address something head on can be self damaging in the moment, but at least it doesn't drag itself out and slowly tear you apart with all the questions, and worries it creates.
To let this stuff off ones chest feels better. Thats why i blog. Thats why i write. But to actually talk to someone about my feels, problems or life is a leap of faith. Its just out of the ordinary for me. I know i should say whats on my mind. It feels good, it clears the sky. Im trying to change you see. It takes time. But hopefully i feel that one step at a time. One person at a time, ill get the hang of it. Or rather, hopefully you'll hear me tell you about it.
So im going to live with what i get. Adapt to what im given and enjoy it. Nothing good comes from moping about the past. Live with what you are given and be open to the newer, possibly better opportunities that may come our ways. Thats life i guess in a CA nutshell.

The Run of Life

I know i right about this probably every other month. But guess what. You'll read it anyway. :) I went for a nice 2.5 mile run and it just clears my mind. Its so easy to forget about everything going on at home. All the worries, tests, classes, plans...I just let my body run away and my mind go blank. I stare at the trees, the flowers, the rolling green grass on the hills and just let my mind become amazed at the texture of colors and life surrounding me. Its like a master art piece...all around me. In a classroom i see man made art...kind ugly. no lie. But outside it is an ever changing art of nature with a cycle that includes life and death. It is only when i return home that my mind wakes up to the fresh scent of reality. The deadlines, the agendas..
Sometimes i wish my brain would just go out on a run...and never come back. Then id always be were i am free.

:)

Well looks like this summer is going to be good. I just went in for an interview for an internship at an engineering firm. I actually wasn't nervous at all the whole time, i was more nervous at my SPOP interview then i was at the internship interview, haha. It last 2 hours and i got to talk to 3 VP's of different departments so they could just get a feeling if they liked me. Guess it worked out good cause at the end of the two hours when he asked about my availability, i stated "i planned incase i got this job and set up my schedule accordingly...", he then leaned over and whispered, "between me and you i think you got the job." :) :)
Now all we have to do is play the waiting game for SPOP...if i get into SPOP then my summer is looking just about perfect. Good job, all my friends hopefully in spop, doris as our leader, and good times with old friends! :))

Your are

You are the epitome of what i dont want to be like