Those days...

Hey pals,
Well the weeks just seem to go by like nothing. Can't believe that its already over with 5th week. Where did it all go? I won't lie...i like the work. I love all the hmwk and projects. I love the late nights of focus and tests that make me feel like shit after all the studying. It makes me feel useful. Makes me feel like i am actually capable of something. For all you seniors out there and this is your 4th year, i will miss you guys. I hope we have the time of our lives and never forget each other. Thanks for always bein there and makin everything worth it.

Wat i could be

So i used to think of this alot, but as i got into college it kinda moved to the back of my mind. I may be a mechanical engineer, i may be a person who wants to save the world one day with these skills...but there is always apart of me that wants somethings different. I rarely think of it, but theres like a 5% of me that thrives and wants to join the army or do something completely directed or organized. I sometimes think of how if i had joined after high school i would almost be done by now. There is just a part of me that would like nothing better then to stand on a line and say "your not getting past me" and thats it. Sitting here i like to think that the problems out there are being solved or the i can rely on other. But sometimes i think if i where there then things would be better. The world would be better. I know i can make better difference the path im taking, but sometimes it bothers me that im living such a life when i never get to see the results of my work. It could take 20-30 yrs to see my efforts ever come to ground. I am proud of my major. Engineering i think shapes everything around us. I just hope one day that without firing a gun i can prove my worth to those who want to save the world and say "i did my part and moved the cog of the wheels toward world salvation."

Its a long haul..but well make it out okay

So this week has been one heck of a week. Starting with Sunday its been nonstop thrill ride of studying for midterms, rewriting essays, and doing 3 different hwmks/labs. All of that has completely drained me to a weird point where im not tired anymore. It sounds kinda weird, but the last two night ive only gotten 4-5 hours alseep each and each day im like wide awake. I even had some trouble falling asleep the other night. Interesting if you ask me cause i normally fall asleep in like 2.5 seconds.
Well i had my first International Discussion table yesterday and it went well. Met a grad student from Egypt and one from Iran. Both where very friendly and from my interpretation spoke really good english. They said they merely wanted to make some friends and practice using new vocabulary; cool with me. Also i missed an interview the other day for a Mentor program i applied for for engineering 1st-2nd years on accident. Thought it was thursday, but it was really tuesday. Got a reschedule yesterday and it seemed to go pretty good. I was informed though that i may get more than the 2 mentees i asked for as we are short on mentors...so i said bring it on. I think it is my time to give back to my school. Here is my shot and im going to take it running.



-cant wait for the weekend :]

This article also made me smile today
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/10/22/dogs.irpt/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

I hate sunday study days

Well today was an exciting day where i woke up at 9:30 and then just worked on hmwk all day! Yeah! Looks like its 8:39pm and im still not done...(sigh). Looks like my teachers envy my youth and are making me pay. Its okay i think ill just retaliate and fall asleep in their classes to smite them! jk. haha Well this week looks like its goin to be a very very buisy one. Won't be able to really take a breathe until it turns in to friday morning. I have...a midterm, 3 hmwk assignments, a lab, an oral report/essay to give, an interview to be a mentor, 14 hrs of work and my foreign language program starts officially on wed! So if i make it to friday anyone...i sure would like to have some fun or something come friday...anyone is welcome to suggest something..i don't care if i haven't ever hung out or spoken to you...lets do something fun!!! :)


Hey guys i forgot! From now on i want to post a little bit of music for you guys to listen to which reflects how i feel or what im likin at the moment! Enjoy!

Invisible

Sometimes i feel invisible to the world. Its kinda like i got left on an iceberg and the rest of the world sailed on without me. I tried to catch back up, but its like the harder i try, the worse it gets. I try to make it go away. I do the thing i love to make it go away...run. But the weird thing is every time i run, i feel more invisible.

A Moment

So today i think i had a moment. There are times when you have like 100 thoughts floating through your mind and you just don't know how to put them together and in order. I often get frustrated because i feel lost in this big world or ours that has a million moving pieces. I try to make my pieces move in the exact pattern i want but it never seems to happen that way. But today i had a moment of clarity of how i may want my future to go. So right now i have 4 engineering classes and one of them is 190W engineering technical writing. Now when signing up for this class i considered this class a joke and a waste of my time. My thoughts were engineers need to know how to do math and physics...not writing. First two lectures were kinda whatever and was review of what everyone learns about writing since high school. It was today though that actually made me think about my future in engineering and my responsibilities. Today my professor talked about "engineering ethics". This seemed pretty clear to me; follow the law and follow basic morals or don't do subpar and don't produce a product which you know may intentionally hurt a fellow human being. But as we talked it became clear to me the ethics of engineering has a gray area because engineers don't control everything. After the actually short topic i stayed after class to ask the professor the following question, "How is it engineering has ethics when we are the ones who create the weapons of war?" He smiled at me and discussed how he himself will never work for an engineering company which is committed to the killing of others for profit. I gave some of my imput to because this was an important topic of mine involving engineering which i have not had the opportunity to talk with anyone. At the end i came to the following conclusion:
I can not in my good conscious work for a defense corporation when it comes time for me to find a job. I came into this school wanting to design tanks, personal armor and advanced weaponry..but over the last 3 years and 9 years of war i will not commit my skills to such inhuman actions. I am instead going to help heal this world hopefully with my acquired skills in alternative energies and resources.
Its not often i become clear about something, but this is one time i think i am actually doing something right for myself and for everyone else.