A Moment

So today i think i had a moment. There are times when you have like 100 thoughts floating through your mind and you just don't know how to put them together and in order. I often get frustrated because i feel lost in this big world or ours that has a million moving pieces. I try to make my pieces move in the exact pattern i want but it never seems to happen that way. But today i had a moment of clarity of how i may want my future to go. So right now i have 4 engineering classes and one of them is 190W engineering technical writing. Now when signing up for this class i considered this class a joke and a waste of my time. My thoughts were engineers need to know how to do math and physics...not writing. First two lectures were kinda whatever and was review of what everyone learns about writing since high school. It was today though that actually made me think about my future in engineering and my responsibilities. Today my professor talked about "engineering ethics". This seemed pretty clear to me; follow the law and follow basic morals or don't do subpar and don't produce a product which you know may intentionally hurt a fellow human being. But as we talked it became clear to me the ethics of engineering has a gray area because engineers don't control everything. After the actually short topic i stayed after class to ask the professor the following question, "How is it engineering has ethics when we are the ones who create the weapons of war?" He smiled at me and discussed how he himself will never work for an engineering company which is committed to the killing of others for profit. I gave some of my imput to because this was an important topic of mine involving engineering which i have not had the opportunity to talk with anyone. At the end i came to the following conclusion:
I can not in my good conscious work for a defense corporation when it comes time for me to find a job. I came into this school wanting to design tanks, personal armor and advanced weaponry..but over the last 3 years and 9 years of war i will not commit my skills to such inhuman actions. I am instead going to help heal this world hopefully with my acquired skills in alternative energies and resources.
Its not often i become clear about something, but this is one time i think i am actually doing something right for myself and for everyone else.