scaried

So im sitting here in the computer lab right now, guess i should do my homework but its freaking raining again. good thing i road my bike. So recently i've been getting a little scared about being an engineer. im guessing this is kinda of like wedding chitters, except its me getting the realization that im almost done with me ME degree and only need to finish up my MS degree. Its just kinda scary that its coming so fast. I feel like im not ready, havent learned enough. I feel like i can't be of much help right now in the world, seems like i just can't remember anything, i dont deserve it. Im thinking this will go away after awhile, just my realization that im growing into an adult/engineer and i just didnt realize it. Hope all was worth it

Sometimes

Sometimes we are presented with options. I think i rather over think them every single time. Even little things. We are presented with two paths. But if i take one the other will close forever and never be accessible ever. The new path i take will now reveal more doors, from in which we can only take one of many. I just worry that one day ill take the wrong day and be locked away, on the wrong side, forever wondering what would have happened if i had gone through the other. But sometimes you have to have faith that you are going down the right path, and i guess thats what keeps us moving, believing that we are traveling the path best fit. To think of the other infinite paths is a burden on the present, but sometimes i just wonder what it would have been like to live the other path sometimes.

the world around me

The world around me
it was once full of promise
was once full of dreams
only greed
corruption
decay.
What do you do?
One person.
Our cities could be great,
they could be beautiful,
they could be safe.
People could be happy,
people can be happy,
people can be healthy,
one day.
A nation built on freedoms,
slowly turning itself out,
selling itself out,
killing itself out.
How do we bring back the days,
when i can hope future children will say,
"I'm proud to be an American?",
and not,
"what does it even mean to be American?"
One day this country will meet a fork,
it will have to decide,
travel the path of the Romans,
and die,
or travel the path of change,
and leave the old USA behind.

Days like this...

...its days like this that i just want to drop what im doing and go climb up a mountain..even a small one. I just want to close my eyes and listen to the rain coming down all around me. Smell that fresh pine as it is rinsed by the cold rain water. If you have ever been backpacking and sat down on a ridge an looked down into a valley or at a lake down below youll know what i mean. It is sureal beauty on a scale only seen in nature. Just to look at the flashes of lightning light up the landscape around me would be all i need at this moment. My escape.

Peace Time

So ive always known this but i find it quite interesting. Most people have their place where they focus the best, or can have a clear mind. The backyard, with a loved one, and many other ways to come to peace. The place where i have always felt clear headed is the shower. haha. i know it sounds weird but it is just the one place where i can clearly think with no disturbances and relax. When i was little while taking showers is where i used to be able to relax and come to closure on things that were worrying me or bothering me. I would sometimes write something on the glass door in the fog and then take my hand and wipe it away. Made me always feel better cause it was a message to me that nothing is permanent and this was one way i could release it. Now a days i just like to ponder while hot water hits me. Its just seems to be the one place where i can throw what if questions around in my head, think out how life is going, i even sometimes plan out what im going to wear the next day. Everyone has their place of piece. Mine just happens to be a nice relaxing shower on my shoulders. :)

Sometimes you just have to believe. Playing the doubt game will get you nowhere. Sometimes you just have to believe that everything is going to work out in the end.

wat a week

So week two has winded down. It was quite the week. Lot of homework, some work and not very much sleep. Eyes were kinda burning by thursday night so the only way to make that go away once work ended at 1:30am....was to go get CA burritos and horchata!! Made my week! :)

So i would like to throw a recommendation out to anyone who likes movies. There is an HBO movie called "Taking Chance" which is quite the meaningful and moving movie. It follows the journey of a marine colonel who escourts the body of a soldier killed in iraq back to his house. It is a tear jerker and in the end it leaves one with some watery eyes.

An idea

All it takes is one idea, one dream to change the world.

Wind me down my week

Well looks like another week in life has come and gone. And in that week i turned 22, moved 1 more week toward graduation in 5 quarters, and hopefully 8 more days before i can wear contacts again. My birthday was pretty good all around. Got tricked by everyone into thinking we were going to TGI Fridays tuesday night, but while supposedly driving there Doris said her car battery died on the top of a parking structure. We get there, Karen, me, eric, and Jason to help out...then like 10 friends pop out to sing happy birthday!! Then....i get whip cream in my hair and a pie slammed into the side of my face!! Lol. What a good start to a birthday. Went to D&B's with roomies, and friends to just have a few drinks,play some games, and just hang out.

-Memo...DayBreakers comes out this weekend. Oh yea....

New Year, New Hopes, New Dreams

Hey everyone, so i will now attempt to write in this thing at least 2-3 times a week. During vacation and finals i didn't write in this much; A) because of finals, B) when i go on vacation i go on the computer to only look for important e-mails and nothing more.
Well with the new year comes my new years resolutions; and for probably the first time ever i sat down to think of some serious ones. Ones i know i want to do and can do. I have a few.

A) Don't buy clothes until April (excluding a pair of shorts if it get insanely hot!)
B) Save up more than 50% of my paychecks from this point on until July. Put them in my savings and don't touch them...ever.
C) Don't care what people think about me, care what i think about myself. If I think I am doing great then more for me!
D) More involved in school, less in messing around. In two programs and about to join an on campus industry/school project (if it goes through). Life isn't going to wait for me to grow up, i have to decide about that on my own.

-Those are the 4 i have for right now. I think they are all easily achievable and will improve everything in my life and maybe others. Hope all you have a great beginning to the new year!