Song for you to dance to in your room....just let loose

Artist: The White Panda
Song: Stereo Hands Remix

Why im excited

So gave my first quarterly engineering presentations with both my mechanical and materials science project groups. I was kinda nervous for both of them, but once i started to talk for either of them, i lost almost like 95% of the nervousness. Felt good.

Wont lie that these projects are a lot of work and will encompass the next two quarters...but it feels good to finally be using the last 4 years of my education for something other than routine homework. For the EWH (engineering world health) project of creating a SIDS breathing monitor for 3rd World countries, feels like im actually making a difference. And for the mechanical project we are creating an apparatus to develop methane hydrates for scientific purposes. If this is what engineering feels like...then i picked the right major. I hope when i get a real job i can feel like this. Cause then i would not mind going to work ever morning. Cause i would know what i am doing wont just mean a buck for someone. Maybe, just maybe...it will mean i can change someones life.





Artist: Matt Wertz
Song: I Will Not Take My Love Away

The debate of all

I often sit and wonder why. Why has my life turned this path and gathered these scenarios? All that has happened in my life has lead to this one point in my life with all the different things that make me me. I am always so happy with how most things turned out in my life so far. Family, friends, all of that has been a gift in my life. I just always worry about after college. After i am on my own. I just hope i dont end up alone. haha. A unbelievable statement, but it bothers me often. How to keep from being alone.





Artist: Black Eyed Peas
Song: The Time (Dirty Bit)

...Finals...= :(

SO.....finals are almost here. But first i have to get past the two presentations coming up this week. The materials science one is on tuesday at 3pm and the mechanical engineering is friday at like 12:30pm or sumtin. Not too nervous about those cause we will be in a group and it wont just be me up there shooting the breeze. Have both my finals on December 8th, one is in the morning and the other is like 6-8pm at night i believe. Not too prepared for those two at this moment, but i think since ill have solely Friday-Wed to study for them ill be able to study up enough to put up a fight to get a good grade. Many so glad that i can start to run again after some 2+ weeks out of the running. Got a minor groin pull or tear that i didn't want to risk and go running. Not sure...but if you have ever had a pull or tear in that area then youll understand why i wanted to stay put. HURTS LIKE A B*TCH!

K. Cheerios!




Artist: Daft Punk
Song: The Game Has Changed

The Yellow Ribbon

Here is one of my favorite stories i remember when i was little. I heard it when i was in like 3rd grade or sumtin like that i think. Its not the story actually..i think it was how sad i felt for the wife in the end that made me fall in love with this story.

The Yellow Ribbon

by: S. E. Schlosser

Jane wore a yellow ribbon around her neck everyday. And I mean everyday, rain or shine, whether it matched her outfit or not. It annoyed her best friend Johnny after awhile. He was her next door neighbor and had known Jane since she was three. When he was young, he had barely noticed the yellow ribbon, but now they were in high school together, it bothered him.

“Why do you wear that yellow ribbon around your neck, Jane?” he’d ask her every day. But she wouldn’t tell him.

Still, in spite of this aggravation, Johnny thought she was cute. He asked her to the soda shoppe for an ice cream sundae. Then he asked her to watch him play in the football game. Then he started seeing her home. And come the spring, he asked her to the dance. Jane always said yes when he asked her out. And she always wore a yellow dress to match the ribbon around her neck.

It finally occurred to Johnny that he and Jane were going steady, and he still didn’t know why she wore the yellow ribbon around her neck. So he asked her about it yet again, and yet again she did not tell him. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you about it,” she’d reply. Someday! That answer annoyed Johnny, but he shrugged it off, because Jane was so cute and fun to be with.

Well, time flew past, as it has a habit of doing, and one day Johnny proposed to Jane and was accepted. They planned a big wedding, and Jane hinted that she might tell him about the yellow ribbon around her neck on their wedding day. But somehow, what with the preparations and his beautiful bride, and the lovely reception, Johnny never got around to asking Jane about it. And when he did remember, she got a bit teary-eyed, and said: “We are so happy together, what difference does it make?” And Johnny decided she was right.

Johnny and Jane raised a family of four, with the usual ups and downs, laughter and tears. When their golden anniversary rolled around, Johnny once again asked Jane about the yellow ribbon around her neck. It was the first time he’d brought it up since the week after their wedding. Whenever their children asked him about it, he’d always hushed them, and somehow none of the kids had dared ask their mother. Jane gave Johnny as sad look and said: “Johnny, you’ve waited this long. You can wait awhile longer.”

And Johnny agreed. It was not until Jane was on her death bed a year later that Johnny, seeing his last chance slip away, asked Jane one final time about the yellow ribbon she wore around her neck. She shook her head a bit at his persistence, and then said with a sad smile: “Okay Johnny, you can go ahead and untie it.”

With shaking hands, Johnny fumbled for the knot and untied the yellow ribbon around his wife’s neck.

And Jane’s head fell off.


**Don't just take the fact her head fell off, think about it a little more and i think youll feel it

So its come down to this...lol

So last night im out hanging out with the guys; Sal, Clement,and Eric. We start off at the local Lampost Pizza for a quick game of pool, a beer, and some potato wedges. Haha...i believe we all need a little more practice. I made in 2 of my teams balls, but as well as two of the opponents teams. And to end the game...eric faulted and hit in the white when we were all dooling over the 8 ball. haha. Newbs.

We later decided to go hang out at Diamond and Jamboree at this place called The Balcony where we just chilled for a good hour. That was fun just chillin with the guys. But what made the night...haha. So we asked for some waters right? And im sayin something to the guys using my hands and sent my water flying to the floor. Our waitress was super nice about it and helped me clean it up and brought me another water. BUT....she put a FREAKIN lid on my new cup of water! She made it into a freakin sippy cup! haha..WAT AN EMBARRASSMENT!! Some girls at the table to our left were even snickering i hear. How..omg. haha And thats an average friday night for the Rockwood boys.



Artist: Neon Trees
Song: Animal

That dang American Apparel

I have a problem with american apparel. It is so dang comfortable that when it is cold and i have to think of what to wear..i automatically forgo my nicer jackets and straight to the comfortable american apparel. haha. Dang you comfortableness.



Artist: Joshua Radin and Ingrid Michaelson
Song: Sky

The longer i run

So i went for a run the other day to get money...it was saturday if i remember correctly. No, it was saturday 4 sure. So i went to exercise and get money to pay my roomies to pay for some utilities when i think i over thought how short this run truly was...and it ended up being some 6.5 mile run..just a tad bit longer than my normal 2-3 mile run. I ended up just about being dehydrated at the end and sat on the couch the rest of the day. (not bad in my book). But only to wake up the next morning and having a slight pull in my upper leg i think. I rolled over in bed and i felt this twang in my muscle...i said "noooooo..." in my head. but i think it was only a minor since i was still able to walk around the rest of the day. looks like no more running for me possibly rest of the week. :(

And i swear im going to start up my "Music of the Day" to let you listen to while you read. ENJOY!



By: Peter Bradley Adams
Song: Angeles

Sum of all things

I think its come to a point in the road where i am believe that i will never know what lays down the road. I will always want and try to predict wat i want to lay around the next bend..but things always change. Wat i wanted 4 yrs ago is not wat i have today. For the most part..its better. Its more than i could have dreamed of. But when i have time to let my mind dream..i find that one should stop worrying. Stop really anticipating. Time just deals us cards, we can have our own too, but when it comes to sometimes things just fall into place when we least expect them.

School or work?

Sometimes it feels like taking on the 5th year is just a postponement of the inevitable job. I partially think its cause all the roomies are working, and everyday i go to school i know only a handful of people. And if you discount the people from SPOP i met this summer...well it goes down to literaly like 10 people. Does amount to me studyin on campus instead of hanging out with people. haha. Ironic kinda but good for me i guess. Not sure where i am going with this, i guess i just feel like i am stalling the inevitable. I just want a enjoyable job...some friends close by or living with me...and a local joint to hang out after work (like the one from How i Met Your Mother). Thats really all. S.F. maybe?

sometimes you get nipped in the bud....and there aint a thing you can ever do about it.

What almost made me cry

I WIll promise..

....to write in this thing like i used to. Sorry for the absence. Once summer started i just booked it. lol. But now that vacation officially started tonight i shall start writing. Tomorrow. Im tired. SO ill start tomorrow.

I shall start writing again!!!

So me, eric, doris, and jason drove out to tehachapi yesterday to visit my sister and go to the 4th annual FOOD and WINE festival!!! It was pretty freakin awesome...beer...wine...lotta food...and lots of laughs. We kinda got here around 3ish on saturday cause our GPS told us to get off a freeway and take the "scenic" mountain tour instead of the highway through mojave, haha. Took probably another hour to get here then usual. Fun though none the less cause of all the stupid/funny things that were being said on that car ride.
The food and wine fair was pretty awesome. No crazyness like when there are a lot of college kids, this was a lot calmer and enjoyable cause everyone was just relaxing and having good laughs. I dont think i have had such a relaxing and enjoyable night in quite some time. Don't get me wrong, SPOP and stuff is fun. But this night was just a no worries night all around. A checkout from the real world into a world of family and friends.

Well i shall try to start up my write once a day on blog spot once again...kinda got lazy over the summer. haha.

What a day tomorrow

I wrote something down but have misplace it. I will most likely find it and post it tomorrow. lol.

Craig Fail

Best Advise

I remembered yesterday something a girl once told me while talking to some friends..."how is a girl ever suppose to know you care about her if you treat her like every other girl and don't show her how special she truly is?"

Some of the most shocking advise ever told to my face, but some of the best

When watching movies and thinking about jobs i realize now one of the things i inherited from my parents...a bleeding heart. And it what makes me think i could never shoot a person. Even someone who is bad.

well peops

SUMMER is almost here!!!!! Im thinking...Disneyland...ice cream on main street...clam chowder bowls....fireworks...new light show....and good people! :)

Part 2/1 of Craig?

Hey yall, i started a new online writing page, this one wont be as indepth as this one though. More like my spir of the moment thoughts, music, and photos.

http://twin4life.tumblr.com/

-Happy Sundays!!!

:)

Reggae Fest!!!

So last day of school was today, and as usual UCI hosted its annual Reggae Fest!! Every year this festival keeps getting better and better. Free beer, tacos, icees, shirts, sun glasses, and good times. I actually today didn't get any free beer cause I wasn't feeling it, but i did enjoy my free tacos and icees!! Hung out with those crazy SPOP staffers most of the day, and it was nice cause i actually got to know some of them a little more. Im not the hugest fan of reggae music, but i was really enjoyin the atmosphere of this one.

Yeah...i also got a sunburn on my face..as usual. DUmb half white people and there forgettfulness about sunblock. xp

a times a changing

Man i am so bad right now on writing in this thing. but no worries! Come wed, i have no more labs and only final, so expect much more.

Just kinda weird that everyone is graduating in less than 2 weeks. Two weeks...thats when everyone i hang out with at school is going to start living their lives. Feels kinda weird to be stuck in school one more year. Good luck to all you graduating out there! Make the most of your last week of school!!

I swear ill start writing more! Just been super buisy with school.

what do you do when you think you have found the one thing that scares me more than anything?

Congrats to my bro!

I haven't written in a week. My Bad! Ill write more, promise!

But....

CONGRATULATIONS TO ERIC SCHLOTHAN!! For a years worth of research, late nights, little tantrums, and a dedication to higher education for his THESIS presentation yesterday! You did great bro! I bet it felt good when one of the moderators stated "this was one of the more interesting presentations today" :)

Great job bro!!

Who I am

Been a long time in the making, who i am.
22 years of growing up, maturing (to some extent lol), learning, experiencing. I am an american. I am japanese; i am german/british. I am a twin, i am an individual. I am everything i choose to be. A brother, a son, a cousin. A friend.
Yesterday i pondered this in the car on my way to eat carne asada fries (nom nom) and i am amazed at how i have turned out. Some of it i think comes from good morals and better judgement. But most of it, i think comes from my parents. They are everything that is right in my world on ever given day. From day one they gave me everything i needed to learn, express myself, and all the while keeping me safe and healthy everyday. They gave it all. They could have not had me, built there dream house, and lived in another country. But they didnt. They chose to put it all into me and my siblings. I hope one day i can be as great as them. I hope my children feel the same way one day. I will never be able to fully pay them back for all they have done. I just hope to do my best to become the person they will one day see and say "thats my son. Look how hes grown."

Thanks mom and dad.
Love you always
Even if i am not home often and i don't say it enough.

Rythme of my life

I love Yiruma. He is just an amazing piano player who when i listen to him can bring the world around me to a standstill. Heres a song i'd like you to listen to. Just close your eyes and you'll see what i mean.

So little time

Just want to say i love all you guys in spop. I may not know you all but each one of you is special in one way or another.

what friends are

Before it happens you try to figure ways to find friends. Sometimes worried that the ones you have are going to disappear sometimes and leave you behind. So I went out and joined organizations to make friends. But the weird thing you don't realize and don't figure out till later is that...well friends come at the most unexpected times from the most unexpected places. You don't even realize your making a friend cause your looking in the wrong place...and then it hits you. Theres people all around you who you just never gave a chance to. Sometimes it just takes a second for you to open your eyes to realize that there are friendly people around you all the time, you just have to give them and yourself a chance.

Vege day 3!! Success!!

Vege Week!

So this week is vege week!! Me and some people are going to try to eat like a vegetarian for the next week to see how we do. Now personally i don't know really anything about being a vegetarian. So i think this will be a personally good experience for my health (if i do it right). So the ground rules we kinda thought up were that one; no meats of course. Secondly none of the vege processed food, cause since im only doing it for 6 days i think thats kinda cheap if i eat the fake burgers and such. Lastly is to try and stay away from sweets since they are a wake substitute for good food i could be eating. Well see how this goes!

Had my SPOP sleep over on friday too, boy was that fun! We just played games all night long, it was good to get to know my family mates more over the course of the night. Still haven't thought of a family name yet, but hopefully soon we will have a bad ass name which all other families will beg to have!

Me and time

I've been giving some thought into this for some time. I want to play a musical instrument. Didn't have the money to buy one yet. Always wanted to play a guitar...love the sound of a slow melody, puts my head to rest. Love the sound of a piano melody..just a piece of heaven on earth. Was going to save some money first so i can afford it. I just want something to do that is..me. My sister used to play the piano...when she would play Moonlight Sonnata, it would almost make me cry it sounded so lovely. Everything would just stop in the room and only her fingers and the piano were actually in the room. Hopefully soon ill get something so i can learn my own tune to life.

Sunny sunny shine

Well had a good time this weekend spending quality time with family and friends. :) Got to go visit a friend in LA and try octupus sushi for the first time...not bad. I'm just turning more asian every day! Had Wayzgoose on saturday which spent a good 4 hours eating mass quantities of food, and listening to music and watching dance teams go at it. Got a little bit of a sun burn, but that you can blame on my dad. Went to the Hanna-Matsui festival at the local Buddist church near my house and ate more japanese food, spent some quality time with the parents. Never get enough of that. :)

I need some serious sun coming up. I kinda look like a vanilla Popsicle stick that hasn't seen the outside of the freezer in a long time.

Feels weird

Feels weird. Don't know what to say. A TA of mine from last quarter was discovered dead, maybe murdered near our school. Didn't know him too well, but the fact i could say hi to him on ring road is...im not sure. Never had anyone i knew besides family die.

Good Luck Sir!

So i've normally always been a kinda laid back and don't take risks kind of guy. Actually that was literaly my whole life. Waiting for things to happen to me, instead of me getting up and making things happen. Ill admit it, it scares me. But this last year if anything has taught me that you are the only one who can decide when things are going to happen. You can't expect a girl to like you, if you treat her the same way you treat all the other girls. You can't expect to get a job, if you just fill out resumes and sit around waiting. You have to be pro-active and stand out. Thats what you got to do, and i think im going to do...just that.

All in a days work

Well went to D&B's last night to just hang out with some friends and have a good time. Was pretty cool to have the roomies there and some of the new friends i have met in SPOP over the last two weeks. They are all crazy and awesome in there own ways, making my days shorter because i don't have enough time to spend with them all.
Well today was a pretty freakin long day, of being a zombie in class from 8am-3pm cause i was just freakin tired from this last week. I think UCI must have some energizer bunny hoppin around Aldrich Park cause it seems to have sucked the life out of my today. Well in the afternoon everything was 30X better cause...DISNEYLAND!!! with the Satow family (cousins) and my roomie Jason! Spent most of my time with my cousins, aunt and uncle. It was really cool to just hang out with them for a while, don't get to really see them more than a few times a year. Man my little cousins are just growing up so fast...there like 11yrs and the other is about to be 15yrs old. I still remember when both of them were just about to be born, haha. Im freakin old. But as they get older it is like they are on the somewhat same level as me, we can just chat it up about anything. (almost anythin). Same goes with my aunt and uncle. When i was little they were just that. But as i get older i see them as relatives and friends who are easy to talk to, joke with, and just be with.

Nothin like Dland with people who are awesome :]

Spoken Words, you save my life

So had my 2nd day of SPOP training today! Got to meet some more awesome people, and i got to meet my SPOP family...they are awesome!!! I can't wait till we show up all those other want to be families...pshhhhhh! :0
But what i wanted to write about today i about what happened after SPOP training. Usually we go hang out somewhere to just chill, so we went to Jamboree square to chill with some boba. There was also another event that was announced and that was Open MiKe night at this coffee joint (can't recall the name! xp) Well at first i wasn't sure i was going to go to the open mic night, but i went cause one of the SPOP coords was going to make her first ever Spoke Words. Let me tell you...it was moving. It was beautiful. When she started off, i wasn't sure how it was going to go. But she seemed so confident, with so much passion. Her words, the meanings she was expressing, they almost made me cry a little cause they were so meaningful. After hearing people young and old go up to play music, do spoken word, and just express themselves, i think im going to give it a shot soon. Its going to take me awhile to get some words together to do this...im no wordsmith, haha. But before this quarter is over, i think im going to do this.

My heart has stopped...for in another it is beating

[While reading...freakin cool remix to listen to..]



So i am drinking an ice coffee right now...and my bro sends me this article on facebook....that scientist at UCSB have discovered and proven that parallel universes exist. Now if you just read the last sentences take a step back. Take a breathe and think about what you just read. This is the kind of small discoveries that excell our species in another direction. Not only does this mean we know that we now exist in other dimensions at the same time, but that time travel is possible. That is F*cking amazing. Not only does this change everything, but it once again proves my idol Albert "gangsta" Einstein was right again! :) If you read the article it is kinda mind bending. Some scientist looked at a metal super small under cold conditions, then they plucked a tuning fork and watched the metal vibrate...and stay still at the same time. WHAT THE HEY?!!! Right. Amazing. This just made my day freak amazing. I could get robbed at gun point right now and i think i would still be smiling cause i know in another dimension i just beat the snot out of that guy. :)

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/04/05/freaky-physics-proves-parallel-universes/?test=faces

Above and Beyonderly!!

So i went on a run this morning, actually i went up to the highest i could go. Ran to the top of turtle rock hill and spent some craig time up there. Wanted to just look around, get some peace and quite, and relax. What made it great was that i saw a lonely hawk slowly circling around the top of the hill..just doing his thing. While sitting up there i thought of one of the things that always, every day fascinates me, space. Though the sky was blue, and i couldn't see them, i knew the stars were up there. Haven't gone star gazing in a long time, ill have to make a note to myself to go do that soon since the nights are getting warmer. I always would like to think that if i were a billionaire i'd blow it all on making my own space pad. If i had to go down, even in an accident, it would have to be in rocket going into space. What a greater place than in the celestial space between heaven and earth. (not that i want die xp)

By the way...HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!! :) :)

Southland

So i just got done watching...for the second time...the latest episode of Southland. Most people probably haven't heard of this show, mostly cause it got droped by nbc after its first season. TNT picked it up, and well its been fantastic since. IMDB gives it a 8.6/10, which is freakin amazing. Southland just brings together a very raw, and realistic point of view to the daily life of the LAPD. I like it because its not fake with dumb catch phrases like in LAW and ORDER. From the beginning you get to know the 6-7 main characters and you realize they are all human, and each one has their strengths and their weaknesses. I like it because you see them learn and grow, while also keeping the peace in the mean streets of LA.
I just have to say that if you ever have a minute or two, just watch an episode. I got hooked after the first episode..and been wanting to look back to watch more ever since.

SPOP..family

So yesterday was my first day of SPOP training!!! And it was..AmaZingG!!! I at first totally thought it was going to be weird, and awkward...but surprisingly it was super fun and everyone was really really nice! Played little ice breaker games, and learned the rules and some pledges of SPOP. Made me happy :)
Also brought up a thought yesterday. I was talking to one of the new staffers and they mentioned how they were super close to their family. Often at times in school my life can get swept away with the crazyness and you forget about people who are apart of your lives. I like to think i have many families..my SPOP family...my apartment family...and my one and only Schlothan family (+plus Sal T.). I love all my families, each one brings something to the table which brightens my day and makes all the hard days so much easier. I don't get to see my real family too often because of school but they are my world. Everytime i go home, the outside world closes to me and i kinda really do nothing but stay home. They have been there for 22 years, and i know they will be there for the next 22(X3) :)

My Heart....

Have you ever felt your heart be normal one moment...only to jump out of your chest the next? In that moment you can hear your own heartbeat. Like its right there, right next to you.
Well today i got the chance to hear my own heart inside a chamber with sound insulating material. I was told this would happen, but i wasn't sure what they meant. At the moment the insulating door closed it turned perfectly silent and i heard it. It was deafening. I heard my own heart pump blood through it like it was in a speaker next to my ear at max volume. It felt like my heart in my chest had just tried to punch a hole through my chest because i became a little disoriented because of the sound. Just about the most amazing sound ever. The sound of my life.
Im not sure if any of you out there have ever held your ear to another person's chest and listened to a heart. It is so beautiful. You can feel the muscle movement and feel the blood pump. Its just about the closest you can get to a person without holding their hand....its to feel their heart.

S.F. to school (one more week would have been nice)

So over the weekend took a little road trip up north to S.F. with me twinzler, Doris, and Jason. First off id like to just say how much i love that city. Everyone seems so happy there. I think because its so community based. Lot of walking, public transit, and biking. I like how you can exit your house and there are markets and food venues right next to or down the street from your house. No driving...what a god send.
Well while up there we did the usual touristy stuff, went down to Union square to look around at the shops, went down to Pier 39 to eat some chowder and enjoy the sun shine. There were a crap load of people there cause the weather was like 70 F, which from what we heard was a first in a little while. Stayed in a nice cheap little hotel called The Opal in between Soma district and J-town. Liked that cause there were bakeries and such nearby which served excellent breakfast burritos. At night though we went out and explored near Soma district and ended up enjoying our night at a club/bar called Mr.Smiths. That was just about the highlight of our trip. Nothing more fun then to go someplace pretty chill and just dance with your friends. None of that grinding stuff was going on there, just good old fashioned dancing with lot of yelling and laughing. It was good to be with friends who just forget about everyone else around them, be themselves, and make a great night even better! :)
Well looks like a new quarter is starting up....going to jump on this one quickly and get a head start. Want to have a blast with my graduating seniors this quarter, but i also want to try to score above 3.3 this quarter. Havent done that in a long time, but this quarter ive got a good feeling of success.

Out with a BaNG!!

So spring vacation is almost over....but tomorrow im going to S.F!!!!!! This city has a special little place in my heart because of how beautiful i think it is. Everything from the food, to the people, the atmosphere, and the gorgeous buildings that encompass the city make my experiences there just memorable. :) So tomorrow night going to take off from Irvine with my bro, his GF, and good old me to Fresno where we are going to meet up with two of my roommates and crash there for a night. From there the five of us are going to go farther up north to S.F. to spend that day and the night there!! So excited!!!

So second day at B/E Aerospace today, only for 4 hours but i think it was definitely more productive and good. Learning how all the documentation works, and its actually starting to make sense. This is all leading up to actually testing things, so im actually kind of excited for the next few weeks, not sure exactly whats in store, but it sounds like a learning experience which will help me in the future! xp

Spring Break :)

Well as you can see during spring break i don't really go on the computer ever. Maybe once a day for about 10 minutes. When im on vacation though, i dont go on the computer cause i want to just disconnect myself from the world and be with my family and friends. An example would be today. Had to take the car in for a tune up, but during my 3 hours wait i had some quality Craig time. I went for a run in the hills of H.B. Central Park for about 25 min, then sat and wet on a swing for a little bit to just look at the park. Since that took up a little more than an hour I then decided to walk a couple miles down to a Ralphs and just look at food. I Love food, so to just look at all the food, look at the labels, and imagine dishes i could make was kinda enjoyable.
Oh...yesterday i started my new internship at B/E Aerospace. As expected for the 9 hours i had to work i didn't really do much but paperwork. And it looks like for the next quarter that is really what i will be doing. haha. Gotta start at the bottom and work your way up. So im not really disappointed. This is just one challenge of many i have to get past!

The End of one....the start of Another

So this quarter for school is now over. Hard to imagine. Those ten weeks always just come and go so freaking quick. So yesterday...to relieve my stress and just relax i started off right after my final by going to the pub with my roomies to celebrate a well deserved break and a late edition of St.Patrick's Day. haha. After a much needed nap me, some of the roomies, and more friends went down to HB to chill over a bonfire, grill some hot dogs, and just chat it up. I so do miss bonfires, haven't been to one in probably over a year since was in denmark last summer. After the bonfire came back to the apartment and played Cranium with me, eric, doris, and jason till the wee hours. Me and Doris were team "Poo"...and of course we won over team "Pee", haha.
So when i say the end of one, start of another. I'm not quite sure what it means. Hard to explain. Last quarter was pretty tough. Lot of homework, test, projects, and stress. But i think overall outside of school i was having one of the most confused periods ever of figuring out what i was doing and who i am. I was always asking for advice, asking roomies if i was doing things right, maybe this...maybe that. Today though i went to this showing called "1040" at my roomie jason's church and i think it kinda helped me centralize myself more and calm the heck down. I'll admit that church is not one of my highlights. I used to go for a little while but thats another story. But today was inspiring and moving to say the least. I think i have been worrying about the wrong things. Been worrying about how i present myself, girls, and just sometimes why things happen the way they do. Kinda made me realize that...not that these things are insignificant, but i think there are other things more important. Those are things that can handle themselves in due time. Things like family, personal growth, and community should be put first. I think overall im a little bit of a confused person. But im searching, and im wondering a bit. In due time i think i will find my way home. Then ill worry about everything else. For now, i think im just going to figure out how to use my compass and figure out where my life is going.

End of 10 weeks

So i took my last final today. What a relief. I just wanted to get that thing over with. Third night in a row where i only got like 5 hours of sleep. Lately ive had trouble taking naps because i have so much on my mind that when i close my eyes i see stuff like formulas or my mind wanders to subjects that will become present in the near future. After i finished my final today at like 12:15pm i went to walk through the park over to lunch with my roomies and for some reason i almost burst into tears in the middle of our park. Not sure really why, too much stress or something. Just kinda broke down cause of the last 2 weeks or something. Well time for a nap. Ill write something better tomorrow. Night

...

I hope my eyes don't fall out or my head explodes tomorrow. Too much studying and project.....

What is March??!!!

Happy Saint Paddy's Day!!! Well i was wearing green earlier and avoided a pinch..but then i had to change and at this exact moment im not wearing green...what you goin to do about it? xp Actually a funny though came to my mind earlier today. Its kinda funny when you think about it how lots of the world parties and celebrates st.pattys day on the 17th after a nation which only has a population of 7 million. Its kinda impressive.

Secondly....what is march? Its MUSTACHE MARCH!!!! So for the last 11 days i have not shaved and have grown a little hair on my stache. I wanted to see by the end of finals how much hair i could grow. Its ehh, but more than i have ever had so far. The minute i finish my final on thursday i am cutting this thing, so if you want to see it you gotta catch me before 12:30pm. haha. Also my roomie jason started growing his stache on sunday or monday and is going to see if he can beat me in overall length in 5 days what took me 14 days. Lets hope not for embarrassment sake!

Talk is cheap, action is the solution

So this whole weekend i worked on this project of mine to build a ramp system for a marble ball to roll down. Over four days and quite a bit of money i had a pure copper tubing system done. It looked great. This morning i go to install it, and one of the tubes was blocking another part of the project. They suggest i move it. When i attempt to....the thing freakin shattered pieces everywhere. Too much stress i guess. Since our presentation was suppose to be today i panicked and tried to put it back together, but you can't unfortunately put something that took 4 days back together in 4 hours. I was pretty sad, mad, frustrated, and down about all the work vanishing in about .3 second. But after a nice little 1 hour nap since i only got 5 hours sleep last night, i got up and felt X 20 better. I then made up my mind, things happen. When things break, rebuild. This is not the end of the world by far. This is just another opportunity to perfect my design and make it look even better. (At the moment the support rods for horizontal forces are drying as i type :p )
We are who we choose to be...and i choose to perfect life..with every mistake and crack that comes my way.

The day after Pi day....

I used to do a song of the day..so here is one to listen to while you read todays entry! Play at bottom of article!

Well i wont lie. The day after Pi day should be called..i feel like a fatty day. Cause after two slices of oreo cream cheese pie...i feel like a fatty. lol. Heres some pictures of the delicious pie i enjoyed with my roomies (and doris).


Delicious!!

So i got a text from one of my friends at UCLA yesterday and they had something called the "Midnight Yell", basically everyone goes outside to yell on sunday before finals. I thought that this was pretty freakin cool. What way to start the worst week ever. When asked do we do it...i imagined myself doing this...outside my apartment...and then i imagined my nosy irvine neighbors calling the cops and like 10 squad cars coming to arrest or ticket me...cause if there is one thing irvine is excellent at...it is having police give out the most ridiculous tickets for the stupidest reasons.

Well my first final isn't till 4pm on wed....so much time to study...is that really good? Or just more time to drag out? lol

The Best Day Ever...Pi Day!!!

So i turn on my computer to study this morning..and as always it goes straight to google search. I go to geekologie.com to see what little weird tid bits the blogger has written about...when i stop what i do and realize what i have forgotten. Its 3/14. Then i go back to google to relook something i missed earlier. On the google symbol on the search engine are formulas like A=(pi)r^2 and C=2(pi)r with some sine graphs and such. I think to myself...has google lost its mind??! The answer...NO!! Its freakin Pi DAY!!!!!There are now just about the coolest corporation ever!!! Some of you may think today is just just an ordinary day...but you are gravely wrong. This is the day we celebrate the magical number of Pi..(which still has no end even with super computers calculating it as I type) 3.1415....and this is also the day you now have an excuse to go out to Marie Calenders and buy a pie. Hell, im going to go buy my Pi for my own little Pi celebration in about an hour. Ill even post a picture of my yummy Pi tomorrow for you all to be extremely jealous and feel less like fatties. So if your not doing anything...get off your little fat butts...go get a Pi...eat it all...then go back and sit down to study for finals. :)

Fortunes of truth

So i had to think about it the other day. I was old that my future is looking up. My life is changing and it is changing for the better. I took a second to ponder this and...well i think i actually agree with this. Finally nailed my internship, got into SPOP for the summer :), have all the friends a person could ask for, family is in good health...what more can a person ask for. I actually had to agree with this. There is no gift money could buy which could make my life better than this. As i said before in one of my previous entries...the future is coming, and its here to stay. Im glad its coming cause i think im ready. I think i'm ready to take on any challenge the future throws at me and overcome any challenge. As long as those i love still surround me i can over come any challenge and vision any dream.

P.S. Went to Baden Baden with Jason and Tiffany the other night...had a good laugh cause they check ID's when you go since usually we buy a little soju to relax. Well ive gone like 3 times in last 2 months...well the waiter there recognized me last night, haha. He even asked me if i sat at a certain table the last time i came. I must be a special customer, haha. Also what was funny was he always looked and addressed me...not tiff. lol Sorry tiff!

P.S. The quote from the first paragraph saying my world was changing for the better...i got it from a fortune cookie at panda express. Lol. Free advice is still advise..right? :)

Our sins...

I one day hope that god will forgive man for his resolve for war. It is the most destructive aspect of human nature, one without cause. There have been hundreds of wars, but none have changed anything but the landscape. I can only hope that one day i close my eyes, and vision a world that will never be..one at peace.

I once wanted to be in the military. For probably a good 6 years. All the way through junior high, high school, and even in my first year of college. Recruiter almost had me convinced in high school that the marine corp was the answer. With my grades...be an officer he said. I wanted to serve, to make a difference. A cause, something to answer to, something to believe in. I have nothing but the unmost respect for the men/women in uniform. But the world around me changed my direction of engineering major from weapons development...to materials conservation/clean energy. I just believe there has to be another way.

Heres a trailer for an upcoming series on HBO. It looks interesting, but when i watched it i felt nothing but sorrow for the generation that had to endure, and the generations which never where.

When it all comes down...

This quarter is almost over. I may not be graduating but it is still a big deal. All my roomies are graduating, all my friends. You guys have been great, no not great...amazing. I could not ask for better roommates while venturing these collegic waters. I wish you all the best in your future pursuits in jobs, love, friendships, and life. You all have turned out to be great people and i hope we find some way in the future to keep in touch. Life moves one, and so will i. Thanks for everything guys. Your the best thing that came out of Irvine.

How i missed you darling

I was out on my night run when i saw her. This is to you darling. I'm sorry i have forgotten you for so long.



Late summer nights,
baseball,
mosquitos,
your watchful shine.

Watching over me,
night and day,
never wavering,
never straying from your path.

Always over me,
always under me,
my angel,
my guardian.

I asked you long ago for luck,
for love,
for truth,
long time ago.

I was young,
you were old,
you were here before i was
and will be when i am gone.

I grew older,
left you behind,
looked the other way
abandoning you.

You were there tonight,
looking over me,
guiding me,
with me.

Don't leave me please,
stay with me,
from when i was young,
till the day i am no more.

~i forgot about you. thanks for never wavering. thanks for being there tonight.

Its okay

So i was doing my homework and wanted to share something. Not my homework. The eng. stuff would put you to sleep instantly. SO if any of you have trouble sleeping i think i actually have a book or two you should read to help you sleep like a baby. But i was thinking how i am comfortable with who i am as a person with my major. Ill admit it, im kinda nerd. Not a geek, a nerd. I love all that crazy stuff with engineering, its hard but its rewarding to see things come to life which once where only numbers or individual parts. So this brought to mind the other day when i was bored and surfing the net....i found the coolest shirts in the world! Well actually you have to know what they mean to actually get it, but watevs. I get it and it makes me laugh. lol



-Now some of these shirts i wouldnt get cause i dont like the way they look. I just thought that there sayings or images were funny/cool. Now my man einstein....well i would sure wear that one like every day if i ever got that. Viva!

That man on my shoulder

For some odd reason i keep wanting to write in this blog. Not sure why. For some reason it seems comforting right now to be able to write. Usually i do 3 entries a week. I think this is my third in less than 24 hours. Sometimes i like to look out the window when im writing these entries, makes me feel a little better. Something about seeing the day, the sunlight hitting the trees and plants that makes me feel better. Well right now its technically dark outside. But if i had cat eyes and could see in the dark...im pretty sure it would be just as beautiful. Yeahh....it would. I think what would really be great, and would replace this blog would be my conscious sitting on my shoulder. That would be the greatest relievement ever. It would be like talking to yourself, except with no exceptions, no biases, and just the cold hidden truth. No more ehh...or maybes...your conscious would tell you what you are trully feeling. Your subconscious thoughts and your secrets you deny yourself would come up and be told for you to bare. No more hiding from yourself. Just the truth. Wouldn't that be great? Hearing what we truthfully feel deep down inside us for the first times in our lives.

Greatest Movie Trailer Ever

So im doing homework at like 1:30am this morning...kinda pissed off cause i have to wake up at 7am and have class all day. Just makes for a bad start to a boring tuesday...but then. Eric saves me. He shows me the greatest trailer ever. I think i watched it like 3 times last night just cause it was too funny. Hopefully you will enjoy this trailer as much as i did and it will turn your day around as well!

oh the pretty colors...

looking through the window right now in computer lab. looks like another beautiful day outside and ill never get to experience this one...one of many. :(

Lifes like a box of chocolates....gotta eat what you got

Everyone faces times when things don't go there way. It hurts sometimes. Sometimes you just don't understand why. I feel that you can either take what you are given, make the best of it, improve on it, and live it. Or you can deny it, live in the past, denial and just move on. I used to be just the ladder and try to move on from failures and bad timings. It was the easier path, the one where i didn't have to when my mind was wandering think about what could have been and what had become. I guess it was just easier to bury everything inside. Keep it in the corner of my mind, lock it up and just let it burn itself out. This though seems to be a self damaging cycle, which doesn't go away. It just festers in the corner, waiting to come out at the moment when it can do the most damage. To address something head on can be self damaging in the moment, but at least it doesn't drag itself out and slowly tear you apart with all the questions, and worries it creates.
To let this stuff off ones chest feels better. Thats why i blog. Thats why i write. But to actually talk to someone about my feels, problems or life is a leap of faith. Its just out of the ordinary for me. I know i should say whats on my mind. It feels good, it clears the sky. Im trying to change you see. It takes time. But hopefully i feel that one step at a time. One person at a time, ill get the hang of it. Or rather, hopefully you'll hear me tell you about it.
So im going to live with what i get. Adapt to what im given and enjoy it. Nothing good comes from moping about the past. Live with what you are given and be open to the newer, possibly better opportunities that may come our ways. Thats life i guess in a CA nutshell.

The Run of Life

I know i right about this probably every other month. But guess what. You'll read it anyway. :) I went for a nice 2.5 mile run and it just clears my mind. Its so easy to forget about everything going on at home. All the worries, tests, classes, plans...I just let my body run away and my mind go blank. I stare at the trees, the flowers, the rolling green grass on the hills and just let my mind become amazed at the texture of colors and life surrounding me. Its like a master art piece...all around me. In a classroom i see man made art...kind ugly. no lie. But outside it is an ever changing art of nature with a cycle that includes life and death. It is only when i return home that my mind wakes up to the fresh scent of reality. The deadlines, the agendas..
Sometimes i wish my brain would just go out on a run...and never come back. Then id always be were i am free.

:)

Well looks like this summer is going to be good. I just went in for an interview for an internship at an engineering firm. I actually wasn't nervous at all the whole time, i was more nervous at my SPOP interview then i was at the internship interview, haha. It last 2 hours and i got to talk to 3 VP's of different departments so they could just get a feeling if they liked me. Guess it worked out good cause at the end of the two hours when he asked about my availability, i stated "i planned incase i got this job and set up my schedule accordingly...", he then leaned over and whispered, "between me and you i think you got the job." :) :)
Now all we have to do is play the waiting game for SPOP...if i get into SPOP then my summer is looking just about perfect. Good job, all my friends hopefully in spop, doris as our leader, and good times with old friends! :))

Your are

You are the epitome of what i dont want to be like

Life Goes on...

While taking a break from studying at work i ran across this poem.

The mind never stops wandering, wondering...
About the complexities, mysteries of life.
A pain that is sweet,
A storm that is still... about to...!
It never explains,
Just reflects; the vastness...
What is it?
Unanswered, but still... hopeful am I?... probably... I am.
Struggling in its every moment, every step,
However, whatever, but never ever disappointed, life goes on...

-Shashank Nakate

This poem is so true. Whatever happens everyday, with people, the world, our friends and family. That was yesterday. Today is a new day. Don't fret about disappointments, failures, or the what ifs of yesterday. Life goes on...live it.

My name is Garfield

Man there is nothing like having a weekend filled with hmwk, friends, good times, studying, a little exercise.....and then a monday. It kills me just a little bit every sunday evening when i realize the next day is monday. A little dread if i may say..that i new week of work, school work, and lack of sleep is coming. This is where i wish i had some lasagna, a blanket, and a box where i could curl up and just pretend monday isnt here.
The weekend was fun tho, went to disneyland on friday..in the rain and waited no longer than 5 minutes to get on anyone ride. Finished that night off with some good old fashioned chicken at Guppies with the jk, eric, h.achhoooa, and kent. (sorry kent no nickname). Saturday did homework, essay and then it was off to hang out with friends in LA! That was pretty fun, randomly ran into one of my danish classmates. random. Also saw a lady almost tear these two guys apart at a dennys...for what we will never know. And sunday was just filled with hmwk. boo hoo. And 1/2 a spinkles cupcake. So it ended just perfect.

Devil

Charles Baudelaire
"Le Joueur généreux," pub. February 7, 1864

-Most people think this quote was made for "The Usual Suspects", but it actually came to be almost 200 years ago..

"Usual Suspects Quote"; The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

...the actual story and quote...

He did not complain in any way about the bad reputation he enjoyed all over the world, assured me that he himself was the person the most interested in the destruction of superstition, and admitted to me that he had only been afraid for his own power one time, and that was the day when he had heard a preacher, more subtle than his colleagues, shout out from the pulpit:

"My dear brothers, never forget, when you hear the progress of enlightenment vaunted, that the devil's best trick is to persuade you that he doesn't exist!"

Just thought this was interesting

E-Week

Ah its that time of the year again. National engineering week...basically when all around the country all the nerds get together and eat lots of food, build lots of creative contraptions and enter them into competitions. Its just an all around great week. I think this is literaly my favorite week of the school year because normally most engineers you don't see outside the classroom. They all have things to do, or just when done with class they dont want to be at school. This is the one week where people actually come to hang out, talk with the professors, have some fun, eat some food, and enjoy all their hard work throughout the year. Usually every year i do the egg drop competition, but didnt have time this year to build a contraption. Little disappointed, but its okay, i still have one more year after this to at least get top 3, haha. Two attempts so far; first was a asteroid into the ground, the second hit a tree...would have it the target zone and been counted but had to get caught in the branch. One more shot next year! High school shadow day tomorrow, well see if any of those minions ask me a question i dont know and make me look stupid! xp

Life

Sometimes life gives us lemons...make some lemonade.
Other times life opens its door...and i start to think life is just about to get better. Its not often that i wake up and look forward to the day coming with my eyes wide open. Theres a lot of homework, class, worries about jobs, projects, bills, work, friends, and the world falling apart. But every once in awhile someone special comes along that brings a spark to the world around me. Those type of lights are far and few between. Its always a privilege when a spark comes along and decides to come through your door and spend some time with you leaving a mark for time to come.

We can do marvelous things

This is proof that we humans are capable of turning our dreams and imaginations into reality. Proof that we are capable of creating not only masterpieces of art, but also of science.

My coming peacenessness

Next weekend, after this hell bitten week coming up is over...i just want to go on a hike or something. I think i might just turn my phone off, not touch a computer, and free myself. Constant messaging over products, research, notes, hmwk, typing typing typing. I just want to actually feel the sun on my face instead of sitting in the comp lab all day. Next weekend is going to be my weekend. Free of everything that is making me so dam old.

Its official. If theres a god; he is either challenging me...or he plain just don't want me to get a good nights sleep. (sigh...)

LA and the best dance show on earth!! VIBE XV

Well i always have thought of LA as a trash dump. I just kinda look at it and think...that city needs to go. But last friday went down to UCLA to hang and we got lost and saw most of the city...JTown, Little Armenia, Bell Air, Hollywood, China Town, UCLA, and Westwood. It is actually a really diverse and beautiful city. I like how you never see the same restaurant twice...ever. :) Im a food person, and that is so special to have little mom-pop restaurants. Not like Irvine...all franchise. When you look at the city from the roof tops, its really pretty and not noisy like i thought.
Went to VIBE XV....Choreo Cookies won!! Hell yea!! All the teams did so good. But of all the teams, Mike Song's team Abnu Blackops was about the best performance i have ever seen by a dance team. Totally original with spirit. Now its down to buisiness for the next two weeks...labs...tests...and more homework.... :x

scaried

So im sitting here in the computer lab right now, guess i should do my homework but its freaking raining again. good thing i road my bike. So recently i've been getting a little scared about being an engineer. im guessing this is kinda of like wedding chitters, except its me getting the realization that im almost done with me ME degree and only need to finish up my MS degree. Its just kinda scary that its coming so fast. I feel like im not ready, havent learned enough. I feel like i can't be of much help right now in the world, seems like i just can't remember anything, i dont deserve it. Im thinking this will go away after awhile, just my realization that im growing into an adult/engineer and i just didnt realize it. Hope all was worth it

Sometimes

Sometimes we are presented with options. I think i rather over think them every single time. Even little things. We are presented with two paths. But if i take one the other will close forever and never be accessible ever. The new path i take will now reveal more doors, from in which we can only take one of many. I just worry that one day ill take the wrong day and be locked away, on the wrong side, forever wondering what would have happened if i had gone through the other. But sometimes you have to have faith that you are going down the right path, and i guess thats what keeps us moving, believing that we are traveling the path best fit. To think of the other infinite paths is a burden on the present, but sometimes i just wonder what it would have been like to live the other path sometimes.

the world around me

The world around me
it was once full of promise
was once full of dreams
only greed
corruption
decay.
What do you do?
One person.
Our cities could be great,
they could be beautiful,
they could be safe.
People could be happy,
people can be happy,
people can be healthy,
one day.
A nation built on freedoms,
slowly turning itself out,
selling itself out,
killing itself out.
How do we bring back the days,
when i can hope future children will say,
"I'm proud to be an American?",
and not,
"what does it even mean to be American?"
One day this country will meet a fork,
it will have to decide,
travel the path of the Romans,
and die,
or travel the path of change,
and leave the old USA behind.

Days like this...

...its days like this that i just want to drop what im doing and go climb up a mountain..even a small one. I just want to close my eyes and listen to the rain coming down all around me. Smell that fresh pine as it is rinsed by the cold rain water. If you have ever been backpacking and sat down on a ridge an looked down into a valley or at a lake down below youll know what i mean. It is sureal beauty on a scale only seen in nature. Just to look at the flashes of lightning light up the landscape around me would be all i need at this moment. My escape.

Peace Time

So ive always known this but i find it quite interesting. Most people have their place where they focus the best, or can have a clear mind. The backyard, with a loved one, and many other ways to come to peace. The place where i have always felt clear headed is the shower. haha. i know it sounds weird but it is just the one place where i can clearly think with no disturbances and relax. When i was little while taking showers is where i used to be able to relax and come to closure on things that were worrying me or bothering me. I would sometimes write something on the glass door in the fog and then take my hand and wipe it away. Made me always feel better cause it was a message to me that nothing is permanent and this was one way i could release it. Now a days i just like to ponder while hot water hits me. Its just seems to be the one place where i can throw what if questions around in my head, think out how life is going, i even sometimes plan out what im going to wear the next day. Everyone has their place of piece. Mine just happens to be a nice relaxing shower on my shoulders. :)

Sometimes you just have to believe. Playing the doubt game will get you nowhere. Sometimes you just have to believe that everything is going to work out in the end.

wat a week

So week two has winded down. It was quite the week. Lot of homework, some work and not very much sleep. Eyes were kinda burning by thursday night so the only way to make that go away once work ended at 1:30am....was to go get CA burritos and horchata!! Made my week! :)

So i would like to throw a recommendation out to anyone who likes movies. There is an HBO movie called "Taking Chance" which is quite the meaningful and moving movie. It follows the journey of a marine colonel who escourts the body of a soldier killed in iraq back to his house. It is a tear jerker and in the end it leaves one with some watery eyes.

An idea

All it takes is one idea, one dream to change the world.

Wind me down my week

Well looks like another week in life has come and gone. And in that week i turned 22, moved 1 more week toward graduation in 5 quarters, and hopefully 8 more days before i can wear contacts again. My birthday was pretty good all around. Got tricked by everyone into thinking we were going to TGI Fridays tuesday night, but while supposedly driving there Doris said her car battery died on the top of a parking structure. We get there, Karen, me, eric, and Jason to help out...then like 10 friends pop out to sing happy birthday!! Then....i get whip cream in my hair and a pie slammed into the side of my face!! Lol. What a good start to a birthday. Went to D&B's with roomies, and friends to just have a few drinks,play some games, and just hang out.

-Memo...DayBreakers comes out this weekend. Oh yea....

New Year, New Hopes, New Dreams

Hey everyone, so i will now attempt to write in this thing at least 2-3 times a week. During vacation and finals i didn't write in this much; A) because of finals, B) when i go on vacation i go on the computer to only look for important e-mails and nothing more.
Well with the new year comes my new years resolutions; and for probably the first time ever i sat down to think of some serious ones. Ones i know i want to do and can do. I have a few.

A) Don't buy clothes until April (excluding a pair of shorts if it get insanely hot!)
B) Save up more than 50% of my paychecks from this point on until July. Put them in my savings and don't touch them...ever.
C) Don't care what people think about me, care what i think about myself. If I think I am doing great then more for me!
D) More involved in school, less in messing around. In two programs and about to join an on campus industry/school project (if it goes through). Life isn't going to wait for me to grow up, i have to decide about that on my own.

-Those are the 4 i have for right now. I think they are all easily achievable and will improve everything in my life and maybe others. Hope all you have a great beginning to the new year!